i’ve been a bit (ha!) out of touch.  but i’m back…let me explain.

here’s what i’ve learned in my 3 months of not blogging:

1. i’m apparently quite fertile – and if we have a daughter, i will be warning her of this family trait the second she starts high school.

2. morning sickness can last all freaking day (and night) and is like no other “sickness” i’ve ever experienced.  i mean, maybe it’s because i don’t really ever get sick but feeling on the verge of vomit 24/7 for about 7 weeks is just awful.

3. working from home is basically the best thing ever, especially while constantly on the verge of vomit

4. sucking on a lemon helps

5. sucking on a lemon may destroy your teeth

6. teeth aren’t as important as everyone seems to think – really.

7. parents cry with joy when you tell them you are knocked up – even if you’re announcement is immediately followed by a threat that you might puke in their car

8. nanis get nose bleeds

9. some parents (my mom) immediately loose their minds and start screaming “how did this happen?!  what do you mean?! how did this happen?!”  mom – do you really need me to break it down for you?

10. doctors seem to think it’s funny to plant the idea “it might be twins”, leading one (me) to obsess about the possibility of multiples for the next 5 weeks

11. after confirming that there is indeed only one babe, one (me) can move on to other obsessions like tails and horns

12. apparently there’s this thing called SWAMP MOUTH (see lemons)

13. sometimes moms will come to california just to make eggs to settle your stomach.  okay that’s a bit of an exaggeration but the eggs did help (so did the lamp chops that she made for ABN)

14. beverly hills 90210 is on from 4-6 every weekday, the perfect relief after a mandatory nap

15. sharing the news makes the nausea go away – temporarily

16. all the cute pregnant people can give you a major complex

17. blow drying your hair and putting on a little make up can help with this complex

18. a little fountain soda diet coke never hurt anyone

19. this kid is going to come out asking for a bagel with cream cheese – or two bagels with cream cheese

20. just hearing the word rice makes me gag

okay i know that sounds like a lot of bad…and the truth is ABN and i are both over the moon (and our families are over the moon and around the back to jump over it once again).  it’s just been hard to keep quiet and by hard i should also say that for a number of weeks looking at the computer screen also made me run toward the toilet.  now that this is all super official (the internet knows!) we’re just taking it all one day at a time.  no more looking back on the past three months of puke – we’re moving forward.  second trimester!  yeah baby (i crack myself up).

so stay tuned…after all, i’m blogging for two!

i know, i’ve been such a bad blogger – and i have no real excuse.  sure i was in LA and then my parents were in town – but there was some down time and catching up on my blogging world just didn’t seem to find it’s way in.  i can’t promise that i’m going to have much to say any time soon.  i’m going to try to be more motivated – but i don’t want to force myself.

i’ve been feeling all kinds of icksa recently – and so instead of spending extended hours at starbucks i’ve spent a lot more time on my couch which is way less conducive to blogging.  today i forced myself out – i’m hoping that i can last two hours before the overwhelming urge to retreat takes over.

for the last two nights i’ve had these ridiculously vivid dreams that for some reason we have to do EDDIE’S funeral again.  like the first time didn’t count or something.  and there’s this big fight about who will speak and what we will say.  am i supposed to say the same thing again?  won’t people be bored?  and then last night, at the end of the funeral in my dreams – there was this big musical number complete with like 50 or 60 acrobats hanging from material from the ceiling a la PINK AT THE GRAMMYS.

what the fuck is wrong with me?

remember that time i decided to be all planner-y and made the matzah balls for passover like more than a week ahead of time? (i say more than a week because we’re hosting our seder on friday night…i never claimed to be traditional).  anyway, you might not remember because i’m just telling you about it for the first time now.  but that’s how i spent my morning – putting together the menu, organizing a shopping list and preparing the matzah balls (yes, i’m using the three boxes of mix that i have left over, unopened from last year).  the matzah balls are supposed to sit in a covered simmering pot for 30 minutes, so i noted the time and plopped down in front of an episode of SVU circa 2002 that i had somehow never seen (i know!).  well, it wasn’t until those 30 minutes had passed me by, plus an additional 15 that i jumped from the couch and ran to the stove.  turns out when matzah balls over cook, they sink.  happens to be my preferred type of matzah ball but i know that others prefer the floaters, so now as this next batch simmers, i’m watching the clock a bit more closely.  i mean i guess better the matzah balls than the brisket…am i right?

we’re back from a long weekend in chicago where we ran between friends, hotdogs, family, a wedding – with israeli dancing AND an hour and 15 minute hora AMAZING, and more friends.  there was also snow, which was just…strange.

oh and i sorta started a new project while on the plane….stay tuned

you guys, i just finished reading THE WORST BOOK.  and by finished i mean that i read the entire thing even though i hated almost every minute of it.  i kept thinking it would get better, that somehow the issues would resolve themselves.  but not so much.  instead the book ended with  basically no resolution and i’ve spent the last 45 minutes trying to find out the aftermath (because of course it was memoir).  in my searching i found this review by NPR’s linda holmes and i think her feelings sum up my feelings quite well:

“…her latest book, Cleaving, one of the most unpleasant reading experiences I’ve ever had. Not uncomfortable, not challenging, not in-your-face, not too real. Unpleasant to read, ultimately pretty boring except when it’s irritating, and a book from which I took nothing away at all except perhaps a clarification of my own sense of what I do and don’t want to read. “

i read a lot of bad books but this one left me feeling all kinds of icksa.  on top of everything i’m a day late returning it to the library (one book i’m glad not to own) so it’s going to cost me 25 cents.  what does a girl do in this situation?  immediately pick up a new book – this time i’m reading THE HOUR IF FIRST BELIEVED – sure to be upbeat and fun – kidding.

in other news, my parents have been without MEDIA (my mom’s words not mine) since major storms hit the east coast on saturday.  being without media might possibly be my worst nightmare.  it’s hard enough to live on the west coast and be three hours late to breaking celebrity gossip (have you heard that JESSE JAMES cheated on SANDRA BULLOCK!?!).

after some time at the gym and  a quick stop at the library (i currently have 9 holds ready for pick up), it’s home to make the matzah balls for passover.  because, that’s booger is about to sneak up on us.

so i decided to suck it up and buy a new dress.  while i totally appreciated all your words of encouragement (and i’m titillated – get it? – by the idea of a minimizer) i realized i’d probably end up spending more on the bra and shoes (because i needed both) than a comfy dress.  i mean, i’m not giving up on my gorgeous champagne number, it’s a classic piece, but i’ll save it for next time around.  also, this wedding is in chicago and if memory serves correctly it’s sorta cold in chicago and so nylons (i know, what?) might be necessary and nylons are a no-go with the champagne dress.  THESE on the other hand, match the new number perfectly.

our weekend was spent eating – a lovely dinner with family friends in sausalito and then yesterday in napa.   we hit up three wineries, snacked on fish tacos and finished our day with dinner at AD HOC. (if you’re interested, i’ll share the menu).  the meal was out of this world (smashed fingerling potatoes are a good thing) and the price point quite comfortable.  the best part is i didn’t hurl in the car on the way home – but that’s another story for another time.

since the incident of the dress not zipping up it’s been back to the gym for me.  i struggled in making my choice.  after all, one benefit of THE JOB was the gym membership that came with it.  and there’s no great gym close to me.  so i settled for a really lame-o circuit gym down the street but at $26 a month – it has me moving and that’s probably what’s most important.

i’m reading a book about BUTCHERY and ADULTERY and it’s due back at the library on wednesday and i can’t renew it because it’s in hot demand so, BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE A KINDLE (i’m just saying) i’ve gotta get back to reading.

here’s what’s up:

• we’re going to a wedding next weekend in chicago and the dress that i’ve been planning to wear for the last year plus (since i bought it for $38 with my PINEAPPLE NATION discount) doesn’t fit.  now before you get all, oh LBN, this is what happens when you quit a job and therefore no longer go to spin classes, it’s not typical dress not fitting drama.  butt, tummy, hips (ie my usual problem areas) are all a-okay.  but the boobs?  WTF?!?  there is no room for my girls (or women – in their current state).  the dress is highly structured and it was probably a tight “squeeze” under the best of circumstances.  i’m sorta assuming it’s a time of month kind of situation and that by next weekend there will be room to spare.  but just in case – i’m on the search for either some major under-armour (and new shoes, because the dress is pink champagne color – i know! – i’m thinking nude patten leather) OR a new dress.  i don’t really want a new dress (who am i?) because i love this dress.  it just needs to fit.
• i spent a good part of yesterday afternoon looking around for one of the above but apparently dresses are no longer in style because there was nothing.  and as far as full body spanx?  well it’s hard to understand if that’s going to work if you don’t bring the dress with you.  ugh.
• i love MODCLOTH but everything i want is always sold out.  this is only partially related to the search for the dress but really just a statement about life in general.
• and finally, i know i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again – DR. DREW – i heart you. (yeah, i know, totally off topic.  don’t hate).

i’ll write a rabbi update at some point but for now, i’m consumed by the size of my chest…and dr. drew.  because life is about balance.

hi all – no, i didn’t decide to take another blogging hiatus – just went down to LA for a few days to be with NANI for her birthday and visit with GRANDMA and PAPA JOE and so blogging simply fell by the wayside.  while i was gone ABN did a little blog maintenance that i didn’t even know that i needed but now i’m back and you know, as good as new.

LA as always, was a mixed bag.  so good to be with NANI, just sitting on her green velor chair while she lays on her pink couch – that permanently holds the mold of her body.  so good to force feed her chocolate cake and turkey breast and some chalky orange protein drink that is supposed to make the HUGE wound on her foot heal more quickly (it’s really awful and maybe one day i’ll go into it in more detail because when i close my eyes it’s ALL I SEE).  so good to see GRANDMA and PAPA JOE (even with a fractured knee) and D and best of all JESSICA and BABY MAX (i thanked him for coming so far to see me and he responded, “it’s cool man!”).  but hard too.  not only is NANI in serious pain (again, the foot…it’s awful) but her heart is so totally broken that it makes my heart break all over again.  i feel so lucky to be able to spend this time with her – to have made the choices that i have made in the last couple of months that make it possible to go to to LA for days at a time whenever i want.  but leaving is hard and saying goodbye sucks.

one funny story – so ROXANNA, the housekeeper/GOD is about to bring lunch into NANI on friday afternoon after a multitude of drs appointments and a quick trip to MARTIN (yes, i got a cut!).  but first she pulls me aside, she’s holding a small container of beans – black and edamame, from WHOLE FOODS.

R: i’m going to give these to your grandmother, she says.  and i’m going to say they were your idea.  that way she will eat them

LBN: okay but it will never work – my mom and i always say things were you’re idea in order to get her to do something (remember – ROXANNA = GOD).

we walk into the den, where NANI is on her couch.

NANI: (a scowl on her face) WHAT are those? (she points at the beans and sorta sticks out her tongue).

R: elizabeth told me to get them.  she said they would be good for you.

NANI: oh, well, okay (she proceeds to eat every bite – roxanna walks out of the room shaking her head – i sit there with my mouth hanging wide open in disbelief – i swear, nothing like this has ever happened before).  these are WONDERFUL – where did you ever get anything so good?

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this week a multitude of RABBI friends have descended on SF for some conference.  i feel less anxious just knowing they are in my city.

have i mentioned my bathroom recently?  the good news – we have a door (particle board but still) to the bathroom.  the bad news?  the bolt lock on our front door fell out.  i didn’t even know that was possible.

so yesterday was the big birthday and by big i mean, i turned 29 and i feel old.  if i was still living on the east coast and was still surrounded by friends who were at least two years older than me, i’m not sure i’d be feeling as old as i feel.  but as i’m living on the west coast and the majority of my friends are a few years younger – i’m feeling it.  i don’t feel bad about turning 29 – or anxious.  nope.  just old.

so, in honor of turning 29 (yesterday), 29 things that you may not know:

1. the OSCARS are like the biggest night of my whole year.  I LOVE IT.  in a perfect world i start early in the day, in my pajamas.  i drink wine-coolers and munch on appetizers from TRADER JOE’S frozen food aisle.  i watch all of the red carpet (live) and call my mom at the commercials so that we can discuss who rocked it – and who failed.  i print an oscar ballot.  i talk to my tv.  and my very favorite part is the in memorium.  growing up my mom and i would sit behind tv trays and eat ribs from TONY ROMAS.  this year i’ll be in LA with NANI.  we’ll eat dinner in bed.

2. for my birthday ABN had my engagement ring remade.  it’s a really long story that you can read more about here.  but isn’t the final result gorgeous:

3. i’m actively working to reduce my caffine intake.  it’s not going so well.

4. i’m currently reading a book about jonestown.  i know.  there is something wrong with me.

5. i’m consideirng bangs.  i’ve had bangs before and i’m considering it again.  i’m just not sure if i’m ready for this kind of commitment.

6. now that i don’t have to get dressed for work everyday (i consider it a win when i remember a bra) i’ve decided to challenge myself with an outfit post once a week.  what’s an outfit post?  funny that you ask.  basically i put together an outfit and then take a photo of it and share it with all of you.  ready for the first one?  here’s what i wore to birthday dinner last night:

blaser: old navy, blouse: BR, skirt: f21, boots: ambiance, bows: f21

7. i cook some damn good brussel sprouts

8. i love my bed – it was the bed i had when i lived in LA.  it’s a super high sleigh bed and if i had my way i’d sleep in it for ever and ever.  but in my old age, i’m starting to have trouble getting up on the bed.

9. for the first time in my adult life, my job doesn’t control every decision i make

10. tonight ABN and i are beginning a new weekly ritual.  one night each week we will not turn on the tv or computer (you can probably figure out which will be of great challenge to each of us).  instaed we’ll cook dinner together (i usually do most of that before he gets home) and then read or play a game or something.  aren’t we cute?  we’ll see.

11. in an effort to continue THE GREAT APARTMENT ORGANIZATION OF 2010 i moved my jewelry to new little trays that neatly stack on top of one another.  it’s totally great.  i want to put everything in my life into little compartments.

12. our bathroom is in the middle of a rehab.  it started this morning and it is supposed to wrap up tomorrow.  we currently have no shower and no sink.  the toilet works so i shouldn’t complain.  but most likely i’ll smell tomorrow – just a bit.

13. i get anxious when we’ve had a netflix for over a week.

14. even though i blog several times a week – i often say that i’m not actively writing because i’m not producing anything real

15. one day i want to write something real

16. losing EDDIE has been more painful than i ever could have imagined.  i find myself thinking about him many times a day.  all i want is for him to answer the phone and say, “oh, it’s the queen of the north”

17. i’m overwhelmed by the amount of food in my refridgerator, but maybe ABN can eat it all when i’m in LA this weekend

18. i still want gray boots

19. i save links from decorating websites.  like, hundreds of them.  i have no idea if i’ll ever do anything with them

20. i check PEOPLE.COM like 10 times a day.  sunday is my least favorite day of the week because usually the website isn’t updated

21. i want to be friends with JILL ZARIN

22. if i need a nail file and can’t get to one, i’m incapable of focusing on anything else (which is the current situation)

23. i’m hate confrontation – i’d rather just pout and stamp my foot.  lame.  i know.  it’s something i’m working on.  it’s going about as well as my efforts with caffine.

24. it has rained on 27 of 29 birthdays.  regardless of what city i live in – it rains

25. ABN thinks that i take showers that are too hot.  every time he takes a shower he has to turn down the temperature because i leave it up too high.  i know that it’s too hot but i can’t help myself.

26. i get an itchy back from my hot showers

27. i can’t fly without the newest issue of people magazine

28. THE PENGUIN.  do you have one yet?  A.MAZ.ING

29. i’m going to be 30 on my next birthday.  holy hell.

a lovely weekend spent hanging out with ABN’s cousins and aunt and uncle.  brunch has got to be the best meal – i mean you get the best of everything – and you still get to end with dessert.  there was also time spent reading, watching the olympics and you know, eating burritos – because a weekend in SF would be incomplete without one.  ABN and i got up early yesterday and after dropping the remaining cousin at the airport we walked up to the top of TWIN PEAKS and looked down at our city.

i’m spending the day catching up on the work i let pile up this weekend.  i’m eye-ing the small pile of envelopes and packages that are collecting on our doorstep for my birthday.  tomorrow, in honor of my 29th (holy shit) it will rain (as it should) and i will take myself to a chick flick in the afternoon before dinner with ABN at a place that’s been on our list since we first landed here.  then it’s time to gear up for another few days in LA and oscar viewing with NANI.

it’s no secret (to me) that i read A LOT of fashion blogs (dude, i really need to update my links!).  i find it super fascinating what people who i don’t know are wearing.  i like to see what they pair together and where they find their best finds.  so today, in honor of my fashion blogs, i’m taking a little (tiny) fashion risk of my own.  i’ve got this dress (that is like 7 times too short) that i think looks better as a skirt so i’ve thrown on a long sleeve tshirt over the top.  it’s a bit bulky (i blame the tshirt – it wasn’t my initial choice but i dribbled milk down the front of first one i threw on) but i’m loving that it’s style i sorta made up myself.  if you’re lucky – i’ll post my first outfit pic tomorrow.

stay tuned…

guys – i woke up in an uber bad mood this morning.  i don’t know why.  all i know is – stay out of my way!

being moody has (apparently) been part of my M.O. since way back when.  there were definitely years in my life that others (MOM and DAD) have described as my mood years.  what does that even mean?  it means i shut down, i stomp, i pout and i whine.  good times – i know.  i think the big change between today and moods of years passed is that i’m aware, and willing to admit, that the mood has set in.  before i’d deny it until the bitter end.

so yeah – i’m in a mood and i don’t really have much else to say.

other than the fact that it’s so windy i feel like my house might take off a la WIZARD OF OZ.

i was up working early this morning – and by up and working i mean sitting at my desk in pajamas after dragging my ass out of bed at 8:55 (this is no the norm for me, don’t worry).  but i got done what i needed to get done and now i’m headed to the grocery store.  ABN’s aunt/uncle/cousins are coming to brunch tomorrow and i’m doing some prep.  i’m hoping a little LADY GAGA and GRANDMA’S CHOCOLATE CAKE will make for a better day.