this baby is not EBN, this baby is sleeping

this shit is hard.  we’re exactly 1 hour and 12 minutes into our first night of sleep learning (that’s like the kinder, gentler way or saying sleep training, which is the kinder, gentler way of saying – we let the baby cry – but we make ourselves feel better about it by calling it sleep training, i mean learning) and i’m about ready to let EBN nurse herself to sleep every night for the rest of my life/never nap/drink an entire bottle of vino (me, not her).  the truth is, she’s doing okay because right now, at 8:14 pm, it’s quiet.  but another scream maybe just around the corner – how is a mama supposed to sleep when her little bug might start to cry again at any moment?

and i know what you’re thinking – wasn’t EBN such a great sleeper.  the answer – yes.  she – was.  well, sometimes she still is – but it’s not consistent.  and even when she does get a whole lot of hours in at night time, she absolutely hates going to bed and only gets to sleep by being rocked or nursed.  otherwise she screams.  and i hate that she screams when she goes to bed.  also, my baby has never napped.  never.  well, never napped in a way that any of the sleep books consider a real nap.  EBN is the queen of the disco nap – just enough to give her enough energy to get through her next activity.  okay, that’s not totally true.  she came back from WESTPORT with a cold and magically slept for MANDI, the babysitter, for 2 hours.  i was so jealous upon hearing this news.  of course, i figured we had turned a corner and that from here on out EBN would be a napping machine.  but it turns out, i’m not MANDI and the baby hasn’t napped since.

so today we went out and bought black-out shades (because the book says we should work on night time sleep and day time sleep all at once) and i plugged in the white noise machine.  i’ve got my charts all printed out and i set up my sleep station (yes, ABN thinks i’m nuts).  but i’m determined to stick to the plan and get through this.  mama’s never been a good sleeper and it’s the last thing i want to pass along to EBN so we’ll all get through the tears and i’m sure come out great sleepers on the other side.

in the meantime, i’m plugging my ears by running the washing machine, dish washer and watching GLEE with the volume turned way up.

wish us luck.