here’s what’s up:

• we’re going to a wedding next weekend in chicago and the dress that i’ve been planning to wear for the last year plus (since i bought it for $38 with my PINEAPPLE NATION discount) doesn’t fit.  now before you get all, oh LBN, this is what happens when you quit a job and therefore no longer go to spin classes, it’s not typical dress not fitting drama.  butt, tummy, hips (ie my usual problem areas) are all a-okay.  but the boobs?  WTF?!?  there is no room for my girls (or women – in their current state).  the dress is highly structured and it was probably a tight “squeeze” under the best of circumstances.  i’m sorta assuming it’s a time of month kind of situation and that by next weekend there will be room to spare.  but just in case – i’m on the search for either some major under-armour (and new shoes, because the dress is pink champagne color – i know! – i’m thinking nude patten leather) OR a new dress.  i don’t really want a new dress (who am i?) because i love this dress.  it just needs to fit.
• i spent a good part of yesterday afternoon looking around for one of the above but apparently dresses are no longer in style because there was nothing.  and as far as full body spanx?  well it’s hard to understand if that’s going to work if you don’t bring the dress with you.  ugh.
• i love MODCLOTH but everything i want is always sold out.  this is only partially related to the search for the dress but really just a statement about life in general.
• and finally, i know i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again – DR. DREW – i heart you. (yeah, i know, totally off topic.  don’t hate).

i’ll write a rabbi update at some point but for now, i’m consumed by the size of my chest…and dr. drew.  because life is about balance.