i know i’ve talked about mahj often, but i don’t think i’ve said much about the wonderful ladies that i play with.  it’s a totally random group of girls – who all came together at camp last summer (yep, they worked for me.  they have to be my friends).  we’ve become great friends over passing tiles.  we know that 5 girls in their 20s playing mahj is not typical.  we are definitely a lively bunch – drinking wine, gossiping, calling our mom’s for guidance.  we have nicknames and plans for tshirts and even a set of plastic chanukah cups from target.  they’ve been incredibly supportive throughout the last few months.  i feel incredibly lucky to have such good friends in my city.

each girl is worthy of her own blog post and over time i’m sure that will come – but after playing last night i’m left with thinking about something that MAHJ IN ERROR said.

poor MAHJ IN ERROR (MIE from here on out).   she recently tore her ACL and MCL and probably a few other CL things that i don’t know about.  i’m so impressed by her positive attitude.  if i tore anything, or you know, stubbed my toe, i’d be bitching (and have bitched) from here to mars, but this girl is all whatevs, i just got into grad school, i went antiquing last weekend, i had a birthday party where i told everyone to wear pajamas and they did – MAHJONG!  she’s also the only girl in the group who didn’t grow up playing mahjong (oh wait, i didn’t grow up playing mahjong either – i knew there was a reason i felt a special kind of connection) and she’s totally picked up the game and isn’t afraid to ask questions or talk while playing or fuck it all up (hence her nickname).

so last night she’s talking about how on top of everything else her workman’s comp money isn’t coming through and in my head i’m all – if this was me i’d be having all kinds of panic attacks and she’s all – yeah it sucks but i decided if i have surgery, i’m just going to write a book.  what the what?  if i had surgery, i’d sit on my ass all day and eat chocolate fudge brownie ice cream, i’m just saying.

she said that she wants to write about being 24 and having had 12 different best friends (okay, it was actually way deeper and more introspective than that but, i need to get to my point eventually).  as the other girls gabbed about their friendship histories i silently passed my tiles, half listening to them, and half thinking about myself and my many friendship pasts.  when i was 24 (which with my birthday approaching feels like a freaking long time ago), i think i could have also said that i had averaged a new best friend about every 2 years.  some friendships lasted (and in some cases continue to last) longer – but most my friendships in the past have been transient at best – transient and intense.

at some point we can talk about this more (i think about it A LOT) but what i didn’t say last night (mostly because i didn’t fully understand it until i was wide awake at 3:30 this morning – earthquake, anyone?? i could have sworn…) is that my friendships that have continued since i was 24 are the strongest friendships i’ve ever had.  i’m not sure if it has to do with age, or ABN, or life circumstances or simply knowing what i need from friends and what they need from me.  but i see a really big difference in my relationships.  and while i may not have a new best friend every two years – i’m pretty sure the old friends that i have and the new friends that i make – are in it for the long haul.

MAHJONG!