i’m sorta into being jewish. it’s like, my thing. for example, in my late teens and early twenties and okay, like yesterday, i dreamed of being the jewish girl on MTV’s real world. i would be the one who would come in and cook everyone kugel and schnitzel and i would teach everyone how to keep kosher (even though i don’t) because part of being jewish is making choices, and we’d light candles together on friday night and by the end we would all go to the mikveh for a ceremonial dunk – in order to mark our time together as sacred. not that i’ve really given it all that much thought

but as i’ve aged out of the real world demographic (it was a sad day when i turned 25 and understood that my dream would never be actualized) i’ve only deepened my connection to my own jewish real world. my jewish identity has been a big part of me since, well, forever. i went to pre-school at the temple and thrilled in being shabbat ema, sitting on my thrown, a chair on top of a table, shrouded in a sheet, decked out in a crown, holding the challah up high above my head. i attended sunday school and hebrew school well beyond my bat mitzvah when all my friends dropped out and i sort of didn’t hate it. i went to jewish sleep away camp where we prayed daily and blessed our meals and wore white on shabbat (like the sabbath bride – duh). at school i had the opportunity to learn from great jewish teachers and thinkers. my jewish identity was pushed and prodded and i began to define what my adult jewish life would look like. what it looked like was hosting large shabbat dinners in my apartment. we’d move the table from the kitchen to the living room and add a card table to either side. we pushed our sectional couch along one side where at times we could squeeze up to seven people on the grey ultra suede. along the other side we’d line folding chairs and put desk chairs at either end. we’d sit for hours as we ate multiple dishes made of chickpeas and watched the candles flicker. as the evening wore on and more wine was opened a guitar would appear and then another. there was singing and laughing and more alcohol then a typical fraternity party…and probably more fucking around too. while in NYC i spent my time exploring different opportunities for prayer and began to define the type of spiritual community i was looking for and with ABN we continue to search out our options.

yesterday, after services, our friends filled our backyard, celebrating the new year with sweet challah, cheese souffle, and mimosas (and a bit of juggling).   when i think of my jewish life, i will always go back to those meals in college. and while i have moved way beyond chickpeas, the sound of laughter filling my home, and bodies splayed on my ultra suede couch…that’s what fills my jewish soul.

also, ABN and i ended our day with an awesome date night.  after the guests left we were both ready for a nap but instead we did dishes and then went and snacked on ceviche and mimosas and ended the night again, in our backyard, looking up at the stars.

shanna tovah u’metukah…