i beginning to worry that the whole twitter thing is taking away from the whole blog thing.  i know i’m not the only one who feels this way.  i just don’t really know what to do about it.  for now i’m just going to keep on keeping on (and you know, you should follow me on twitter – now on my sidebar, because you’ll get more dirt on me).

ABN and are taking a lazy weekend which is much needed.  my big outing so far has been to the dry cleaners but i’m also planning to head out soon for a mani and pedi.  i know, i’m really pushing it.

i had a bit of a break down yesterday.  the one issue with not having regular bouts of depression is that i forget how miserable i can feel and i forget that, this too, will pass.  for about four hours yesterday, i felt like squatting under my desk was the only place i wanted to be.

the short version is my department at work was having a little get together at a bar and there were all these plans being made and i was feeling like i didn’t have a place.  i’m not used to not being super close with my work crew.  i’m not used to not having a bff at work to gossip with.  i’m not used to being on the outside.  and i know its only been a month and that’s not enough time.  and i know my expectations are completely unreasonable.  but still…a girl has gotta have an issue and today, or yesterday, this was mine.

of course by the time we got to the bar it ended up being super fun and not at all awkward and the only part that was remotely awkward was the way that i had felt before.  three important things occurred – 1. impressed the men of the sports and rec department by doing a shot with them (kamikaze, which isn’t even real), 2. ABN came to pick me and stayed for a beer and so he got to meet the people i’ve been talking about for the last month and 3. i found out that fraud rocked the teen program – i love being in on the gossip.

ABN also pointed out that when i first started at JBBBS i argued that i didn’t need these people to be my friends, that i had enough people in my life  blah blah blah and that within weeks i was singing a very different tune (ie SUZ became my favorite person ever).  while i did argue that my current situation is the exact opposite – i get what he’s saying.  i just need to give it a little more time.

alright, i gotta bounce.  its raining here which means only one thing – i’m thinking lincoln park after dark.