ABN’s couin (and i guess mine too) had their baby this past friday night.  as i anxiously awaited word (the kid was a week overdue!), ABN was surprised to find a voicemail from his aunt early saturday morning.  hmmmm, he wondered outloud, i wonder why she is calling?  he’s got the brains for sure, but the boy is just not so quick on the uptake.

i’m excited for the newest member of the family.  not only do i assume that the little guy will provide hours of amusement and fun at all future family gatherings (no pressure, but really, its expected), but MR. K means that i’m no longer the newbie.  this new addition gives me more street cred.  with the arrival of the new baby it also makes me think about the future of what i define as family.  i was lucky to grow up very close (geographically and relationally) the majority of my large extended family – sleeping in waterbeds when my parents needed a night on the town, sitting bitch in elementary school carpool, eating silver dollar pancakes and countless summers at camp.  there have been ebs and flows in all of the relationships – years when i spoke to one cousin or another at least once a day, and years when i didn’t.

ABN was a very different story.  his relationships were built on a week spent together here or there – with months and miles in between.  but during those times together – it was all players  in.   no one took for granted meals spent around a large round table, assuming that if someone was moody or missing it didn’t matter, we’d just do it again next week.

i think that in the past few years i’ve learned a lot from ABN’s relationships.  its not like i have a choice in where everyone lives or how close we each are (i’m still trying to learn that you can’t force something that just doesn’t work).  but i have learned that effort is important and that being close with aunts and uncles and cousins is a special kind of thing – not to be replaced by best friends.  going down to LA, while stressful has provided an opportunity for time with family that i don’t even think i knew was missing.  three years ago i don’t think i would have had BOBSEY TWIN in my speed dial, and now she’s my go to whether i’m laughing or need a pick me up.

so yeah, the new baby got me thinking about all of this.  at first i felt really sad that ABN and i couldn’t jet off to the other side of the country for the bris (because growing up, we were all there for everything).  but i get that’s not how you have to do things.  and as long as we make time with “our family” an ongoing priority – i think i’ll have the type of relationships that we’re all hoping for.

now…if only i could get someone to loan me their waterbed….