i know – i’ve been missing.  there are two very good reasons.  1. i’ve been ridiculously busy – like so busy that i haven’t even been turning on the tv at the end of the day (I KNOW!) and 2. i’ve been…found.  its looking like its not such a big deal, but basically i got an email on monday letting me know that the higher ups at work had been reading and while they didn’t think anything i had written was inherently wrong, i got the idea it would be best if i made some – redactions.  so, changes have been made and i’ve decided to mostly steer clear of topics involving work specifics – but for now…i’m back.

after sorta ruining our friday night together (i might have chosen a manicure/pedicure/wax over dinner with ABN…but i was desperate to be pampered) ABN planned an awesome, last minute, SATURDATE.  it started with a hike from CLIFF HOUSE to the golden gate bridge (i finally think i understand the difference between hike – in nature – and walk – on sidewalks).  while  hiking we had breathtaking views of the water and while walking we had breath taking views of mansions (i especially liked the ones with indoor-outdoor living space).  after our time in the sun there was a brief stop at trader joes (another horrible parking lot) so that ABN could get water and i could restock my supply of strawberry fruit-flo, and then a late afternoon nap.  before the nap, ABN made a spur of the moment decision to call FIREFLY (our neighborhood/fancy place – oxymoron or perfection? discuss…) and see if we could get a late reservation.  i, of course, was negative, it would never happen.  but it did.  and it was awesome.  oh but first we had wine and cheese in our backyard (LEFT COAST!).

its possible i cried at dinner.  way to ruin a romantic evening…right?  i got all emotional (again) about us being here but our families being somewhere else.  we’re happy here and i don’t think either of us want to be anywhere else.  and at the same time, i realize that most likely, my future isn’t going to look like i always imagined – you know, hanging out with my mom on tuesdays.  sad.  it doesn’t help that each and every time i talk to my parents they say something about this being on temporary, about us moving back, about how we ruined their lives too.  because i know, that this isn’t temporary, that we aren’t moving back (who would want to leave this place?) and that we haven’t really ruined their lives…its just different.  its sorta like the way i always assumed that i would get married at camp.  it wasn’t until after we started planning our REAL wedding that i realized camp made absolutely no sense.  i always just assumed we’d live in the same place as my mom and dad.  not that i’d be living in westport (um, no) but i just couldn’t picture it any other way.  until now.  it just seems extremely unlikely.

am i the last person to discover HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER?  in the last 12 hours my life has gotten so much better.