you’re not going to believe what i’m doing right now – really – its shocking.  i’m sitting on the edge of couch, trying to to touch too many things, while my head absorbs as much of the NO MORE LICE medicine as possible.  that’s right people – I HAVE LICE…i think?

it all started at some point this weekend.  i’m not exactly sure when i realized i was an itchy mess, but before long i was scratching not just my head but my neck, chest and back as well.  now, for anyone who knows me well, general itchiness is not so surprising.  i’m an itchy kind of girl.  dry skin – yep.  when i get anxious – then too.  i’m in a fairly constant state of scratch.  this being said, my itchy level had progressed to unavoidable proportions.  i had ABN check out my scalp and basically we weren’t quite sure if anything was going on.

then today, i’m sitting at my desk and i notice, that i’m itching again.  next thing i know, all these kids are being led into the office because, guess what?  they’ve been found to have lice!  immediately i’m having a breakdown, silently at my desk.  i don’t want to be the girl who has lice…but i’m fairly convinced i am!  i know that camp uses the HAIR FAIRIES to do their dirty work, so i sink down low in my seat and try to quietly make an appointment.  they have no availability until thursday.  FUCK.  so i’m left to take care of things the old fashioned way – by slathering poison on my head.  (don’t worry mom, i found a “non toxic” poison).

ABN and i came home, he checked my head again and while we still see no active bugs, there’s something going on and that something looks a hell of a lot like eggs to me.

hold on, that’s the timer – time to comb through – this is some nasty ass shit.  its so thick.  icksa.

now i’ve only had lice once before.  and there was hella drama involved.

i came home from SUMMER ’92 with a damn itchy head.

“mom, my head itches.”

“no it doesn’t”

one week later…

“no, mom, my head really itches…do you think i might have lice?”

“no”

another week goes by

“mom, my head is really itchy!”

“you don’t have lice.  your head is just dry.  we don’t GET lice”

mom and dad go to NYC leaving me and my itchy head, back at home, when they get back, 10 days later

“MOM. HEAD. ITCH!!  will you at least look?”

“HOLY SHIT!”

it was a freaking infestation!  as if you had filled an entire coke can with pepper and sprinkled the whole thing all over my head.  i’ll wait while you clean up your vomit.  as horrible as it was – i felt totally vindicated.  i TOTALLY had lice.  my mom will never live it down!

so yeah, who knows whats going on now.  feel free to judge me – i would.

tomorrow i’m driving down to the penninsula – but want to know the exciting part?  i don’t have to leave my house until 9!  my plan (i know!) is to get up at 7 and give myself 2 full hours to have the kind of morning that i miss.  stay tuned for an early additon of WTF WEDNESDAYS (that’s right, i haven’t forgotten!).  and then tomorrow night, its back to writing class.

i’m a girl with a lot going on.