i know i’m totally late jumping on the TWILIGHT band wagon – the beacon of all things pop culture that i am – but i’ve finally jumped (thank you san francisco library) and 30 minutes later, i’m totally hooked. i’ve never really had a thing for vampires (other than dreaming about my cousins) or fantasy but so far it’s working. surely it helps that chapter 1 chronicles the main character’s first day in her new high school – where she meets this weird new guy who, i’m going out on a limb here, is a vampire. oddly not unlike my first day of high school in westport….

my mom had arranged for the president of the TEMPLE YOUTH GROUP (TYG) (who later, senior year, when i decided to have some semblance of a typical high school experience, became a friend) to meet me outside of the auditorium before the school-wide assembly. i wore a red and white checkered dress that i had purchased at VENUS on melrose before i departed for the east coast (it doesn’t get much more LA than that) and brand spankin’ new white jack purcells. coming from my private all-girls school in LA where the only fashion decision was plaid or striped boxer shorts under our uniformed skirts, i had stressed about my attire for the first day for most of the summer. TYG was wearing black pants with an elastic waist band from EXPRESS that would soon become a staple in my wardrobe and a baby tshirt with two pink stripes around the neck (if only my brain could retain information for tests the same way….damn). we sat toward the front of the huge auditorium…i couldn’t believe how many people she knew…how many boys there were. we sat next to one of her friends with long bangs she pushed to the side, who seemed a little hippie (i could have sworn her shirt and jeans were vintage) – if i had been ready to make friends, i like to think that SIDE BANGS would have been one of them. she seemed to have a lot going on and while she was friends with some of the prettiest girls in school she also didn’t always smile which, to this day, gives her some credit in my book.

my first class was chemistry. we had assigned seats and were told immediately that the person we shared a desk with would be our lab partner for the entire year. in my head, i understood that by going to public school i would now be in classes with boys, but still, sitting next to one was a huge shock to my system. it wasn’t for lack of time with the opposite sex – after all i’d just returned from my MOST obscene summer thus far at the camp on top of the hill and had my first “real” boyfriend (who later would come visit and there was this weird incident where we wound up falling asleep in my bed together but that’s another post for another time). it seemed that boys in school, at least the boy who i was sitting next to in chemistry, not by choice but by chance, had this stench that i had not experienced before. you see LAB PARTNER was on the football team – and even though we had chemistry first period in the morning, he had this stank that seemed to always be around. by the end of the year i had ascertained that the smell emanated from the baseball cap that he wore on a daily basis and that had multiple lines of salt on it left over from what i assume were large amounts of his perspiration. towards the end of the year he replaced the old hat with new ones marking the colleges that he planned to apply too…when his original hat disappeared so did his smell – for the most part. LAB PARTNER wasn’t the coolest boy in the class but he was friends with the coolest boy which made him think he could behave like a huge asshole. i think about it now and i really can’t believe how rude he was, to me…to the teacher. that being said, i gave him absolutely no chance. i hated him and everything else around me from moment zero. i’m sure if asked, he would say i was a huge bitch.

this weird thing happens when you switch schools (and coasts) in the middle of high school. while in california we had studied european history and american literature in 10th grade, on the east coast (or at least in westport ct) it was basically the reverse. so from chemistry i went straight to us history – a sophomore class. i sat myself down at the only table with an open space…there was CLARISSA (sorry, i’m dropping a real name) the cheerleader and two girls (who’s names i don’t remember because i think they were only in class about a week) who were comparing stories about their shared probation officer.

from us history (i could fill a book with stories from that class) i headed to spanish (a FRESHMAN class…i know i should take full blame for not making friends but really, the chances were stacked against me) and then lunch. TYG and i had planned to meet outside the cafeteria. i sat at a table with a bunch of jewish girls who i’m pretty sure (upon reflection) wanted to be my friend. but i didn’t give them the time of day. i was determined to be miserable…if it was the last thing i did.

we went from lunch to gym. OH.MY.GOD. its possible that my most recent round of nightmares stem from this one day in gym class. you have to understand that at the big M (private all girls school in LA) gym consisted of self defense, gymnastics, badminton – i got to sign up for what i wanted to do. and after 9th grade, it was optional. cut to 100+ girls AND BOYS in an open field house, running the mile. UM…there was no way in hell. i believe that my exact words to my guidance counselor the next morning were “if you ever expect me to come back to school you will let me out of gym class!” next thing i knew i was enrolled in silk screening.

still shaking from what i had seen in gym and unsure what my future held, i made my way to honors english. how the hell did that happen? sure, i liked to read (not for school but still) and okay i was an okay writer. but at the BIG M my grades were never honors material…no matter what subject. its possible i got a B in my last semester of english because we had a teacher who knew of my “issues” and felt bad for me (she also wrote me college rec…i’ll take the help where i can get it) but last time i checked B in a regular class does not equal honors status. maybe the guidance counselor who signed me up knew of the grade inflation i had been dealing with. regardless of how i got there – honors english is what kept me going. SIDE BANGS was there along with my buddy from peer advisers. soon i was friends with 2 boys (future gays ) and a girl who shared my name (unfortunately that didn’t end well when i was made editor of the newspaper but you win some you loose some). the teacher, who was well into her 50s had legs that would go on for miles. we read great books, some of which i still consider my favorites.

high school sucks. whether you move across the country, sit next to a vampire, or are simply forced to read THE SCARLET LETTER (and in my case, i had to read it twice!).