i have been feeling sort of down the last couple of days…i don’t think its for any reason in particular. i need to be reminded sometimes that’s okay to not be super happy all of the time – it doesn’t mean something is necessarily wrong – although i tend to assume it points the world ending. the weather has been blah which doesn’t help and i was feeling so super powerful after quitting my job that i think whatever came next was going to be a bit of a let down.

in our couples class on thursday we were asked to share our career history which quickly turned into a list of degrees and achievements (seriously) which caused me to sink down in my chair AND breakout in hives. i was glad that this conversation came post job-quitting but left me feeling more lost than before…and definitely more alone in my lack of direction. it seems that the other couples have it all figured out…or at least are better at pretending that they do. of course, ever the humble spouse ABN kept his resume short and spared details which only further frustrated me as i felt like it was his duty to compensate. thanks to A&E i was able pop an ativan, unfortunately i didn’t move quickly enough for water and by the time i swallowed the pill had all but dissolved, leaving me less than quick to respond for the rest of the class. in better news – i have decided which couple i like the best (what? i always have favorites) and plan to invite them (and maybe others…we will see) over for a shabbat dinner in the near future.

last night ABN and i had choices as to how to spend our shabbat – in weighing our options i choose the potluck-temple sponsored-dinner at a home around the corner from us (again, crummy weather) over services in the mission. if i had to make the same decision again i would have chosen differently – but we learn and grow and move on…right? instead of harping on the negative (i could go on…and on) i’ll leave you with the two good points: 1. we seem to have hit our stride in SF. it’s home. we don’t need awkward shabbat dinners. we have people to be with and things to do. it feels good to not feel lost. and 2. we met a great new couple (the only other couple…but they do appear to be great). they recently moved from pittsburgh and we seem to fit together well (he hikes, she doesn’t). when she left to go get her phone so we could exchange information the husband leaned in to whisper – she’s going to be thrilled she made a new friend. i smiled and replied that i feel the same way.

i’m not sure if i mentioned this before but last week ABN made me a sheet of goals – for helping to determine what i want to do professionally and for writing (sometimes there is overlap). while i tend to get annoyed that ABN is so linear and i am, well, not, it’s been more helpful than i had assumed. not only have i been getting in touch with friends of friends, and finding that there are a ton of agencies doing great work out here – i’m also realizing that there are things that are necessary in order to ensure a happy, working LBN. today i am adding this to the list: an office where it is not required but it is also not surprising to bring in home-made baked goods. do you think this is an okay question to ask in an interview?