i have an unhealthy relationship with my local library.

in trying to be thrifty and at the same time feed my manic reading habits i got my own library card and started requesting books. it seems that checking out books has changed from the days of my youth where you used to be able to go into a library and browse the shelves comparing titles and subjects before settling on your selection of choice. the library around the corner from my house is quite small and has a very limited selection to choose from…as in not much more than a children’s corner and some dusty how-to books. instead the way to check out books is by logging on to the san francisco library website (no library smell…damn) and typing in a title/author/subject. you can add titles constantly. i think of it a lot like netflix except for one small problem…its not at all like netflix.

instead of a queue where one book comes in at a time, the giant conglomerate of san francisco’s libraries will send each and every book that i have requested to my local library as they become available. which means that i constantly am getting notices that i have books waiting which turns into me getting incredibly overwhelmed with the stack of books i currently have next to my bed, ready to be read, all by a determined due date. because of this i have been known to return a book or two (or seventeen) to the library without even cracking open the spine (sorry barbara walters – Audition…didn’t so much happen).

i mean, it’s clearly a trade-off. i’m saving money and a lot of the books that i read (or plan to read) are simply for fun and have no deeper meaning (barbara) so i don’t feel the need to add them to my permanent library. on the other hand, the ever growing pile next to my bed stresses me out and i tend to forget what i’ve read without the books collecting dust on my shelf to remind me. i have been known to go out and purchase a book, after i have read a copy from the library when it holds a particular place in my heart (Interpreter of Maladies ).

how much better would my life be if the next book would come only after i have returned the one that i have finished reading? like netflix…it just doesn’t feel like too much to ask. in the meantime, i will continue to request books, get overwhelmed, and hide my head as i walk into the library to pick up more than i can carry.