i’ve got a lot to say so i’m just going to say it.

1. my eyebrows are currently black. they are also looking bushy. sorta like ashley. although when i first saw ashley’s i liked them – this wasn’t the look i was going for. this was not the way i had envisioned this post beginning but as i have just returned home from having my brows and lashes tinted, it is all i can think about. black. not brown, not auburn, black. and this, of course, is not the first time this has happened. i am currently weighing my options. last time (ugh, why do i do this to myself..monica, i need you!) i was told to scrub my brows with dishing washer detergent but the only thing worse than a red head with black brows is a red head with black brows that are red, puffy and irritated underneath. the good news is that i don’t know anyone here so there are less people to judge me. i am currently dealing with this buy sitting underneath my lemon tree, drinking a glass of white wine and trying to figure out if i will have time for an emergency trip to westport and monica before COR’s wedding in october.

2. i’m married a to a wonderfully bizarre man. early in our relationship, but not early enough to turn back, when i was still living in nyc, i received a phone call from ABN. he was laughing so hard i couldn’t understand a word he said. why are you laughing?, i questioned. just wait for it, he managed to get out. and then, i heard it. he had the hiccups. a natural occurrence right? happens to everyone? wrong. ABN gets the hiccups like no other. when he hiccups (usually triggered by water going down the wrong pipe) his entire body convulses and releases this high-pitched, high volume, dog-like, pig-like, bird-like noise that cannot be imitated or recreated. what results, is the two of us laughing so hard that we are fighting each other as we race for the bathroom. the laughter, of course, only increases the frequency, pitch, volume and intensity of the hiccups. last night, ABN swallowed wrong and thus began hours of hysterics only interrupted by moments of clarity as i begged him to drink water upside down while holding his nose. he told me i was mean, i told him i found him annoying.

3. ABN got paid yesterday for the first time…and brought me flowers.

4. i have not heard from the good people in retail. i need a job. i am loosing my mind. and now i have black eyebrows.

5. i think i had mentioned that i had been writing this post from outside, underneath the lemon tree. but where there are lemon trees, there is also ivy and i just saw a small rodent run through the ivy, so now i am back inside, where i should be.

6. do you think that the chlorine in the swimming pool will help with the black eyebrows? or make it worse?

7. we’re going out to dinner tonight. somewhere in noe valley. i already walked there once today but there are so many yummy choices, or at least choices that have the potential to be yummy. i want to live in noe valley. today is august 1 and so i called the realtor. she has not called me back and i find that….not helpful.

8. i cannot buy my ticket to LA for the end of august until i hear back about the job…grrrrrrrrrr

9. when i began to swim i didn’t take into consideration how dry it would make my skin and hair. but i am still digging it. today, while swimming, i did my first flip turn since 8th grade. and i didn’t miss the wall. and i didn’t get water up my nose. it’s like riding a bike.

10. last night i had many bad dreams and ABN slept through them all. i was glad he slept because the night before, neither of us slept – he was thinking and i peed 9 times (i’m not normal, i know). but even though i was glad he was sleeping, i did keep trying to wake him because of the bad dreams…and he just kept sleeping. although this frustrated me (still does) i bought cinnamon challah so that i can make french toast tomorrow morning. at the end of the day, i am a good wife.